I'm not good when I don't win. I wouldn't say I'm a sore loser because I generally keep my contempt to myself. And I also don't like the word loser. I don't think not winning makes you a loser. I didn't win the Best Local Blog in the Best of Portland Awards this year. It was my third nomination and it would have been my second win. The first year, I didn't even know I was nominated, I found out by reading the paper. Last year, I didn't mind not winning because I actually liked the blog that won (it beat me this year too), but I'm not going to plug it on here because they'll get enough kudos for the win itself. This year I wanted to win for a few reasons. One, I deserved it. 2008 was a life changing year for me. I chronicled those events and the effect it had on my life in my blog. I pour my entire heart and soul into my blog. Second, it would have been a great tribute to my mother and a way to put a final bit of closure on it. I also wanted to win, because it would have really lifted my spirits. Though I don't always show it, well rarely show it in public, I'm quite upset about John leaving. I support him 100% but it doesn't make it any easier for me to let him go. I didn't win. I wish I had. I'm sure the sting will wear off in a few days. I'm not going to campaign for it next year. Either my blog will win on it's own accord or it won't. But I won't send out emails requesting everyone and their brother vote for me.
Thank you to everyone who reads my blog and to everyone who went out of their way to vote for me and to get their friends to vote for me. Your support means the most to me. However, I may take a bit of a blog break for a little while. Probably just a few weeks. I need some time to clear my head and my heart and get myself back on track. And for once, I'm not going to chronicle it on here. I'll be back, probably later in May. I plan on having a great summer here in Maine and I will definitely tell the tales on here, but I just need a little break.
For the past 5 years I've done a lot of freelance graphic design work and I'm damn good at it. Yeah, I'm tooting my own horn. I taught myself and have come a long way. However, I put the "free" in freelance. What most people don't realize is that each project I do usually takes anywhere from 1-3 hours to complete....well to perfect. My last freelance project is on the books right now and after that, I'll be taking a break from that as well. Other people make a lot of money doing what I do and it's time my creative talents started generating some income. No offense meant to anyone I've done work for, but I just can't give my talent away anymore. I'm not saying I'm going to charge what the pros do, but I should be compensated for my time, talent and effort. I think what started to bother me was that people just started assuming I would do my projects for free. I was never even offered a few bucks. Nothing. And often, I was expected to keep making changes to projects long after I had completed it. Talk about looking a gift horse in the mouth. Flask will be my only freelance customer going forward. Jes has been very good to me and she loves my work and often compensates me and never asks for changes. She's a great friend and a great customer. Small Clarification: None of the offenders of the above paragraph read my blog or my Facebook page. I would never use my blog in such a passive/aggressive way. I have spoken to the offenders about this purposely. I just wanted to make that clear. If you read my blog, then this paragraph does not apply to you at all. I'm always happy to help out with fliers for fundraisers and charity organizations. Got it? Good. :)
Again, thank you for reading. I'll be back. Next time you hear from me, I'll be living in the new house and will probably have a new puppy. Until then, keep the peace, perpetuate kindness and concentrate on the good and don't give the negative any more energy than it deserves.