"Something was bound to go right sometime today
All these broken pieces fit together to make a perfect picture of us
It got cold and then dark so suddenly and rained
It rained so hard the four of us were the only thing
We could see for miles and miles.
In the middle of the flood I felt my worth
When you clung to me like I was your little life raft
Please know you were mine as well
Drops of water hit the ground like God's own tears...."
"The Lightning Strikes by Snow Patrol"
2008, it truly was the best of times and it was the worst of times, just not in that order. I don't remember much about the first half of the year, other than I was completely miserable at my job working for The Portland Housing Authority. I wasn't exactly happy in my personal life either, but I honestly can't really remember why. I'm sure it was just a bunch of crap that I'm too old to have in my life.
My mother died from ovarian cancer on August 2, 2008 at 12:50 a.m. I was with her when she took her very last breath. My younger brother Mike and I clung to her as she went to be with God. I don't think I could have comprehended how much that event would go on to change me as a person and the profound effect it would have on me and my life. I can honestly say that I have grown more as a person in the last 5 months than I have in the past 10 years. My mother's passing mended my relationships with my brothers and my sister. I have no idea how I got by all these years being estranged from them. The above song lyrics strike a chord in me because they make me think of the 4 days we spent together in my mother's hospital room. How "all these broken pieces fit together to make a perfect picture of us." The four of us are at our best when we're together, just the four of us; Tim, Jackie, Billy & Mike. I'm happy to have them back in my life. It's the greatest thing I could have ever wished for.
This year, my Aunt Dottie died from lung cancer. She had dealt with four different cancers over the years. Also my childhood friend Sandy passed away from breast cancer. It seems they really do go in three's. All three women were very dear to me. I learned a lot about life from those three women. They were all very instrumental in me becoming the man I am today. I miss them all so much. May they rest in peace and keep us in their good graces forever and ever.
I turned 40 on October 23. I have no issues with getting older, as I try to celebrate the gift that each new day is. Turning 40 was odd for me because it's one of the ages that I remember my mother being. I remember the surprise party we threw for her and I remember the rest of that year. I've been 40 for 2 months and I have to say, I think people are right that my 40's are going to blow my 30's out of the water. I start my 4th (I originally had put 40th here until Chris pointed out that I'm not 400 years old) decade on this planet with a heart full of love, amazing friends, my family, and a great new job.
So far, the best thing about turning 4o is this guy right here. His name is John and we've been dating since the beginning of October. He is, without a doubt, one of the nicest people I have ever met. As you can see, he's wicked cute as well. It's probably the healthiest relationship I've ever been involved in. We're both very busy people who's schedules don't always allow us a lot of time to spend together. Which makes the time we do spend together even better. We're taking it slow and not tossing out words and phrases we don't mean. We're also not planning the future, but enjoying the present. I like him a lot. Oh yeah, I made sure he was okay with me writing about him on here.
I would like to take this opportunity to thank a few people. Most notably, my siblings: Tim, Jackie and Mike. Words can't express what it means to have you back. Thank you. I could have never gotten through all this without you and your strength and open arms. You were my life raft. The picture of us was taken in 1986 and it's our favorite picture of us.
Thank you to my cousin Jennifer. She is 2 weeks younger than me, but by all means has always been like a big sister to me. No one steps up to plate quicker when I'm in a time of need than she does. I can honestly say that she's as important to me as the air I breathe. She made my 40th one of the greatest birthdays ever and she was my back bone when my mother was in the hospital. Everyone should be as lucky as me to have someone like her in my life. This picture was taken in 1972 just after an ice cream social at St. Mary's Church in Bloomington IL. Jennifer is on my right, notice she has her purse tucked under her arm. Her sister Christine is on my left. They're both very near and dear to me.
Thank you to the newest member of my family, Yolanda. She married my brother Mike back in March. She won't be the newest member of our family for long, since the next new addition happens to be growing inside her belly as I write this. Yolanda did so much for us when our mother died. I don't think we could have gotten through the whole ordeal and planned the memorial service without her. She's an amazing woman and we're lucky she was brave enough to marry into our family. She's a keeper.
Thank you to Jes Nolette. We've been friends for 6 years, but it's only been since this summer that we have become great friends. When my mother took ill, Jes was there for me every step of the way. Before I left for Illinois, while I was gone and continually after I got back. Our friendship has grown by leaps and bounds and she's become one of my favorite people. She's a little clumsy though and I often think all her clothes should be made of bubble wrap. Here's a picture of her and John.
Thank you to Drew. I've known him since 1991 when we first met in Chicago. We lost touch when he moved to San Diego about the same time I moved here. He found me a few years ago and we've been best friends since. He came out for my birthday and he's coming back for New Year's Eve. He's such a wonderful, giving and compassionate person. Here he is pictured with my dear friend Emily, who happens to be Jes's girlfriend. This is the night the sparks flew between them.
Thank you to Russ. He's been my best friend and roommate for 6 years. He's like a brother to me and I'm beyond lucky to have him in my life. He was another one of my rocks this past summer. One of the happiest moments of my life was when I got back to Maine after my mother passed. I got off the plane and I walked out and I looked and at the bottom of the stairs was Russ waiting for me. I knew I was home. He's the bestest friend anyone could be lucky enough to have. That's Russ pictured with our good friend Michele.
Thanks to each and every one of you who read my blog. Thank you for all of your kind words of love and support these past 5 months. Your love and strength helped me negotiate the toughest thing I've ever been through.
And now for some good, if not sad news. My good friends Leah and Kevin (the people not the tortoises) are moving to Los Angeles. They leave next week. Leah is the founding member and lead member of the band "Dear Claudia." She is by far one of the most talented singer/songwriter/musicians I've ever had the pleasure and honor to know. She met the famous singer Rickie Lee Jones this past summer and Ricky encouraged her to make the big move so she can really give her music career a boost. So to all my friends in LA, you better take good care of her or you'll have me to answer to. I'm sure that once she gets settled in LA and starts playing out, it will only be a matter of time before she gets a record deal. She's got the "it" factor. Knowing Leah now is like knowing Picasso before the world knew Picasso. Not only am I one of her biggest fans, but she's also one of my dearest friends. Did I mention that she is one of the funniest people I've ever met? And she brings that amazing personality to her live shows. There are some naysayers around here who when they talk about Leah & Kevin's big move they carelessly toss out phrases like "I give them 6 months..." "I give them 8 months..." I hate it when people do this. What Leah and Kevin are doing is taking a huge leap of faith in an effort to better themselves and their careers. The naysayers, say what they do out of selfishness. The people who say such things are the people who could never take such a big step. They need to look passed their own insecurities and learn to just be happy for Leah and Kevin. I wish them well and I know they'll do just fine out there. And soon, you can read all about it when Leah's blog "When Leah Met L.A." is launched. In the above pic, Leah is between me and Jes. Then it's John and Jordan.
Check out her music by clicking HERE. This is a pic of Leah and I laying in her side yard. We were taking photos to use on a flier when I was her guest performer one night. I know, she looks dead and I look all serene. Which is odd because what we found out very shortly after taking this picture is that I was laying in a heaping pile of puppy poop. Oh the memories.
I'm sure that just after I publish this, I'm going to think of more people I need to thank. I didn't purposely or even knowingly omit anyone. And I'm sure I'll keep adding to this list.
I wish everyone much love and light in 2009. Let's all try to be better people. We can revel in happiness and perpetuate love. We all have the power to bring goodness and light to the lives of those around us.
It got cold and then dark so suddenly and rained
It rained so hard the four of us were the only thing
We could see for miles and miles.
In the middle of the flood I felt my worth
When you clung to me like I was your little life raft
Please know you were mine as well
Drops of water hit the ground like God's own tears...."
"The Lightning Strikes by Snow Patrol"
2008, it truly was the best of times and it was the worst of times, just not in that order. I don't remember much about the first half of the year, other than I was completely miserable at my job working for The Portland Housing Authority. I wasn't exactly happy in my personal life either, but I honestly can't really remember why. I'm sure it was just a bunch of crap that I'm too old to have in my life.
My mother died from ovarian cancer on August 2, 2008 at 12:50 a.m. I was with her when she took her very last breath. My younger brother Mike and I clung to her as she went to be with God. I don't think I could have comprehended how much that event would go on to change me as a person and the profound effect it would have on me and my life. I can honestly say that I have grown more as a person in the last 5 months than I have in the past 10 years. My mother's passing mended my relationships with my brothers and my sister. I have no idea how I got by all these years being estranged from them. The above song lyrics strike a chord in me because they make me think of the 4 days we spent together in my mother's hospital room. How "all these broken pieces fit together to make a perfect picture of us." The four of us are at our best when we're together, just the four of us; Tim, Jackie, Billy & Mike. I'm happy to have them back in my life. It's the greatest thing I could have ever wished for.
This year, my Aunt Dottie died from lung cancer. She had dealt with four different cancers over the years. Also my childhood friend Sandy passed away from breast cancer. It seems they really do go in three's. All three women were very dear to me. I learned a lot about life from those three women. They were all very instrumental in me becoming the man I am today. I miss them all so much. May they rest in peace and keep us in their good graces forever and ever.
I turned 40 on October 23. I have no issues with getting older, as I try to celebrate the gift that each new day is. Turning 40 was odd for me because it's one of the ages that I remember my mother being. I remember the surprise party we threw for her and I remember the rest of that year. I've been 40 for 2 months and I have to say, I think people are right that my 40's are going to blow my 30's out of the water. I start my 4th (I originally had put 40th here until Chris pointed out that I'm not 400 years old) decade on this planet with a heart full of love, amazing friends, my family, and a great new job.
So far, the best thing about turning 4o is this guy right here. His name is John and we've been dating since the beginning of October. He is, without a doubt, one of the nicest people I have ever met. As you can see, he's wicked cute as well. It's probably the healthiest relationship I've ever been involved in. We're both very busy people who's schedules don't always allow us a lot of time to spend together. Which makes the time we do spend together even better. We're taking it slow and not tossing out words and phrases we don't mean. We're also not planning the future, but enjoying the present. I like him a lot. Oh yeah, I made sure he was okay with me writing about him on here.
I would like to take this opportunity to thank a few people. Most notably, my siblings: Tim, Jackie and Mike. Words can't express what it means to have you back. Thank you. I could have never gotten through all this without you and your strength and open arms. You were my life raft. The picture of us was taken in 1986 and it's our favorite picture of us.
Thank you to my cousin Jennifer. She is 2 weeks younger than me, but by all means has always been like a big sister to me. No one steps up to plate quicker when I'm in a time of need than she does. I can honestly say that she's as important to me as the air I breathe. She made my 40th one of the greatest birthdays ever and she was my back bone when my mother was in the hospital. Everyone should be as lucky as me to have someone like her in my life. This picture was taken in 1972 just after an ice cream social at St. Mary's Church in Bloomington IL. Jennifer is on my right, notice she has her purse tucked under her arm. Her sister Christine is on my left. They're both very near and dear to me.
Thank you to the newest member of my family, Yolanda. She married my brother Mike back in March. She won't be the newest member of our family for long, since the next new addition happens to be growing inside her belly as I write this. Yolanda did so much for us when our mother died. I don't think we could have gotten through the whole ordeal and planned the memorial service without her. She's an amazing woman and we're lucky she was brave enough to marry into our family. She's a keeper.
Thank you to Jes Nolette. We've been friends for 6 years, but it's only been since this summer that we have become great friends. When my mother took ill, Jes was there for me every step of the way. Before I left for Illinois, while I was gone and continually after I got back. Our friendship has grown by leaps and bounds and she's become one of my favorite people. She's a little clumsy though and I often think all her clothes should be made of bubble wrap. Here's a picture of her and John.
Thank you to Drew. I've known him since 1991 when we first met in Chicago. We lost touch when he moved to San Diego about the same time I moved here. He found me a few years ago and we've been best friends since. He came out for my birthday and he's coming back for New Year's Eve. He's such a wonderful, giving and compassionate person. Here he is pictured with my dear friend Emily, who happens to be Jes's girlfriend. This is the night the sparks flew between them.
Thank you to Russ. He's been my best friend and roommate for 6 years. He's like a brother to me and I'm beyond lucky to have him in my life. He was another one of my rocks this past summer. One of the happiest moments of my life was when I got back to Maine after my mother passed. I got off the plane and I walked out and I looked and at the bottom of the stairs was Russ waiting for me. I knew I was home. He's the bestest friend anyone could be lucky enough to have. That's Russ pictured with our good friend Michele.Thanks to each and every one of you who read my blog. Thank you for all of your kind words of love and support these past 5 months. Your love and strength helped me negotiate the toughest thing I've ever been through.
And now for some good, if not sad news. My good friends Leah and Kevin (the people not the tortoises) are moving to Los Angeles. They leave next week. Leah is the founding member and lead member of the band "Dear Claudia." She is by far one of the most talented singer/songwriter/musicians I've ever had the pleasure and honor to know. She met the famous singer Rickie Lee Jones this past summer and Ricky encouraged her to make the big move so she can really give her music career a boost. So to all my friends in LA, you better take good care of her or you'll have me to answer to. I'm sure that once she gets settled in LA and starts playing out, it will only be a matter of time before she gets a record deal. She's got the "it" factor. Knowing Leah now is like knowing Picasso before the world knew Picasso. Not only am I one of her biggest fans, but she's also one of my dearest friends. Did I mention that she is one of the funniest people I've ever met? And she brings that amazing personality to her live shows. There are some naysayers around here who when they talk about Leah & Kevin's big move they carelessly toss out phrases like "I give them 6 months..." "I give them 8 months..." I hate it when people do this. What Leah and Kevin are doing is taking a huge leap of faith in an effort to better themselves and their careers. The naysayers, say what they do out of selfishness. The people who say such things are the people who could never take such a big step. They need to look passed their own insecurities and learn to just be happy for Leah and Kevin. I wish them well and I know they'll do just fine out there. And soon, you can read all about it when Leah's blog "When Leah Met L.A." is launched. In the above pic, Leah is between me and Jes. Then it's John and Jordan.
Check out her music by clicking HERE. This is a pic of Leah and I laying in her side yard. We were taking photos to use on a flier when I was her guest performer one night. I know, she looks dead and I look all serene. Which is odd because what we found out very shortly after taking this picture is that I was laying in a heaping pile of puppy poop. Oh the memories. I'm sure that just after I publish this, I'm going to think of more people I need to thank. I didn't purposely or even knowingly omit anyone. And I'm sure I'll keep adding to this list.
I wish everyone much love and light in 2009. Let's all try to be better people. We can revel in happiness and perpetuate love. We all have the power to bring goodness and light to the lives of those around us.
