It was a nice day in the city of Homoville. The sun was shining, the boys were cruising the park and the stores were having sales. Everywhere you looked, the gay boys were smiling. Many carrying shopping bags or gym bags or grocery bags or lunch bags...you see gay men love their baggage. The gym was full of hard-bodied muscle men sweating and grunting as they sculpted their bodies. The hair salons were full of balding gay men having their heads shaved by gay men with perfectly coiffed hair. Then all of a sudden out of nowhere appeared the villain "Breeder Man." He came armed with bibles, hookers and power tools. Convinced he could "straighten" out the gay boys, he began to reek his havoc. The gay boys ran and hid in their perfectly decorated apartments. Then across the sky, he appeared.......is it a bird? A plane? A Cirque de Soleil performer? Close....its "Buzzed Lightfoot: Gay Superhero." He swishes in out of the sky, bright pink cape flowing in the wind. With his short cropped hair and dressed in a tight silver t-shirt, pink cape, snazzy faded jeans and platform combat boots, he lands gracefully in Homoville and begins to search for Breeder Man. When he encounters Breeder Man, he slaps him hard across the face and says, "Oh no you don't Breeder Man, not on my watch! We're here, we're queer and we're about to kick your ass!" He then grabbed the bibles and at the speed of light. with the power tools, he formed them into an award winning public art sculpture that served as a social commentary on the Right Wing Christian movement and its exclusion of gays and Lesbians. And before you could blink an eye, he had made over each hooker and turn them all into fag hags. Then he turned to Breeder Man and said, "Now what? You're weapon-less, wearing very bad shoes and you need a haircut. And I think thou doth protest too much? It's okay Breeder Man, we know you're only here because you admire us. Quick, let's make you over!" And before you could say you could say, "You go girl" Breeder Man was converted into the hippest MetroSexual this side of Gotham City. Awash in excitement over his new look and designer wardrobe, he hugged "BUZZED LIGHTFOOT: Gay Super Hero" , then gave him the appropriate air-kiss on each cheek and skipped off into the sunset. The gay men came running out of their apartments, careful not to sweat on their Calvin Klein tshirts for fear of staining them in Bronzer, they each congratulated "BUZZED LIGHTFOOT: Gay Super Hero" and the proceeded to hit on him. "BUZZED LIGHTFOOT: Gay Super Hero" then turned down each proposition and took to the sky. Disappearing into the clouds.....
Meanwhile, just on the outskirts of Homoville at the "Flex and Wex" combination fitness store/credit card call center, Jason the "Q" Man, phoned RaiterGuy and said, "You know, AdamBoy has been on his bathroom break for a long time."
RaiterGuy said, "Really? How strange, I just heard on the GAYdio that "BUZZED LIGHTFOOT: Gay Super Hero" has once again saved the day!"
Jason the "Q" Man said, "Ever notice how AdamBoy is never around when "BUZZED LIGHTFOOT: Gay Super Hero" is around?"
RaiterGuy said, "No, I never noticed."
Jason the "Q" Man said, "Ya, its probably nothing. See? There's AdamBoy coming back from the bathroom....has he always had a pink cape?"
Coming soon, what happens when the George-inator invades Dykestown. It's Dykestra: Heroine to Lesbians Everywhere to the rescue.
VERY SPECIAL THANKS TO JEANNE! She saved every single thing I ever sent when I worked with her. If it weren't for her, the stories of these gay superheroes would be lost forever! You rock Jeanne! 
