Thursday, April 06, 2006
I've heard it time and time again, in the argument from Right Wing Christians that if we legalize gay marriage, it will destroy the institution and sanctity of marriage. As if straight people haven't already done it. The right wingers may want to take a good look at Hollywood before they go after the gay community. Nick and Jessica were married for 3 years, all of which was televised on the horrible reality show "Newlyweds." Once it went off the air, they got a divorce. Brad and Jennifer were married for 4 years before they broke up, got divorced and Brad got engaged again to Angelina Jolie who was once married to Billy Bob Thornton. Tori Spelling's marriage lasted a nano-second, then divorce, and soon enough she was engaged again....Before the divorce was even final. The new beau even got her picture tattooed on his arm (he should have really talked with Angelina about how painful tattoo removal is before he did that). Eminem got divorced from his psycho wife Kim and then made millions rapping about killing her and stuffing her in a trunk. 3 months ago, they reconciled and got re-married. And today it was announced they're getting re-divorced. Can you even count how many times J-Lo was engaged before she actually married that little troll Marc Anthony? Matt Leblanc is getting divorced after only 3 years of marriage. Some little twerp twinkie boy on The OC Tree Hill married his co-star, dumped her 6 months later and is now engaged to a young extra who's carrying his baby. Don't even get me started on Whitney "Hell to the NO!" Houston and Bobby Brown. God knows they're the ideal married couple. Then there's Michael Jackson's bizarre union with Lisa Marie Presley that lasted a nano-second. Nick Cage has been married 97 times. And this is nothing new, go all the way back to when Hollywood first became the center of the Universe. The movie stars of yesteryear did as much bed hopping and made as many alter trips as the current ones. Difference is, they actually exercised a little discretion and didn't have the paparrazzi to deal with. Not just Hollywood, watch divorce court some day. Straight people all over America are marrying too young or just for the wrong reasons. The divorce rate is at an all time high and all the Christians can worry about is gay people destroying the sanctity of marriage? Give me a fucking break. Clean your own damn house before you pass judgment on mine. I look at it this way. If any two people on this planet can find one another and truly fall in that mind blowing all consuming absolute true love, then they should be allowed by the state to join together in a legal union that protects their rights as a couple. Maybe we should make it tougher to get a marriage license than it is to get a license to practice medicine. If it were a tougher process and more expensive, than more people would be content with just dating. No, instead, everyone wants to have a big church wedding with the first girl who says "yes" or the first guy who asks. C'mon people, stop looking at celebrities as roll models. Be your own role model. If you're in love than marriage can wait. Wait until you're sure. I think couples should have to be together for at least 2 years before the state will grant a marriage license. And then the couple should have to be engaged for at least one year. How many couples do you think would actually make it that three years if that were the law? Only the ones based on absolute true love. The couples who were meant to be together. Because when you get down to it, true love will always find a way. That's why, no matter what the right wingers tell us about what gay marriage will do to the moral fiber of America, they can't keep gay people who are truly in love from being together. You can deny us our legal rights, but you can't stop love. And if you haven't noticed, we don't plan on letting you deny us our rights for too much longer. I had a commitment ceremony with a guy 10 years ago and we broke up not one year later. We had only been together for one year. If we had to wait the 3 years to get married, we would have realized it was a wrong move. We were basing everything on that crazy mind fuck of a thing called "infatuation." You know that word, the one that people continue to mistake for love? I don't mean to straight bash in any way. Trust me, the straight people in my life are pretty well-adjusted people. For the record, I happen to know quite a few happy married couples who are truly in love. It's awesome to watch. I know a few gay couples who are head over heals in love as well and hopefully some day, when we get out of the Bush-induced dark ages, they too will be allowed to marry and be recognized by the state as a couple and a family. Times are a changin', but not soon enough.
So, who's destroying the sanctity of marriage? No one. That's right, no one. Because the sanctity of marriage only exists between the two people that are married. When a marriage ends, it doesn't affect the "sanctity" at all, it just means the marriage is over. Maybe the couple shouldn't have rushed into it or should have dated longer, but who are we to tell them not to get married? As far as we know, they absolutely believed they had found their life partner when they got married. The truth is, people grow and change as time goes on and not every couple will grow and change on a compatible level. What's worse than a divorce? A couple suffering in a loveless, sexless marriage. How can we blame anyone for getting married too young or who rush into it? We've been pounding it into their heads since they were children that they needed to grow up, get married and have kids. We start with the fairytales. Every little girl wants Prince Charming and a Cinderella wedding gown. Little girls grow up planning their dream weddings before anyone ever stops to explain to them what marriage is really all about. When you get down to it, marriage has very little to do with the actual wedding. Marriage is about two people who want to spend the rest of their lives together and want their union to be recognized by the state and in the case of straight people, by the church, too. The wedding is merely the celebration of this union. I'm surprised most couples even make it through the wedding planning process and the wedding itself. Again, the fairytales have set the stakes really high. Not to mention that 50% of the time, the top story on Entertainment Tonight is ......"Which celebrity wedding gown costs $75, 0000? The big story next." There's too much stress put on couples to throw the perfect wedding. And more and more couples are footing the bill themselves these days which gets the marriage off to a rocky start as they now have to figure out a way to pay it off. Your mother insisted you invite your second cousin you were buddies with in the second grade and it didn't seem like a big deal, but 300 extended guests later and you're headed for the poor house. When did the wedding stop being about the celebration of the union and start being about the guests and the gown? People listen to me. If you are not half of the couple getting married, stay the fuck out of it and let them plan their wedding the way they want it. If someone you know gets married and doesn't invite you, instead of taking it personally, how about realize that maybe they can't really afford to invite their 20 co-workers and just be happy for them anyway? And mothers and fathers, it's awesome if you're footing part of or all of the bill, but it's still not your wedding. So back off and let your kids do things they way they want. And yes this may mean that Great Aunt Martha on your dad's side doesn't get invited. So to my single pals, gay and straight. If and when you choose to get married and choose to have a celebration of that union, do it for you. Throw the celebration that will best represent who you are as individuals and who you are as a couple. Be it big or small, I just want it to be wonderful and magical and everything you ever dreamed of. If I'm bestowed the honor of an invitation, I'll be there to cheer you on. If for any reason, you can't invite me, I'll still be happy for you and wish you all the love, light and laughter this world has to offer. Just make sure that you enter the union as friends, so no matter what happens in the course of your relationship, you'll always have the foundation of the friendship to fall back on.